June 14th

"Say What you Need to Say." -John Meyer

My grandmother passed away this day last year. I remember my mother and I sharing a moment driving down to South Portland, somehow getting lost trying to pick my brother up from his friend's place, laughing our hearts out. Just two hours later, everything changed. Viewing my relationship with my mother, so often people don't really realize how valuable someone like a mother is. It's a person your flesh came from. Naturally it's been raining today and all weekend; there's something really sad but beautiful about it.

The first two years I was raised by my mother's mother. Then I was raised with the combination of my mom and father's mother; thus I've really been blessed with three mothers, with the guidance of three women, three extremely strong women, as though pass generations paid the debt and paved the way for the future generations to experience an easier life. June 14th 2008- it was sad but she gave a lot to the world in her 65 years.

I met several beautiful children last year going over there but none like my witty, arrogant, loving, amazing 14 (now nearly 15 year old) cousin, Dat Nguyen. Children understand one's sadness, and he took it upon his arrogant (yet amazingly amazingly intelligent) self to put a smile on our faces. He's a little badass for sure, he shared so many dreams with me, a dream of education- that children in America, in surburban Maine take for granted. I love that child. My father dropped me off today in Lewiston today; I won't see him for at least 5 weeks for he's visiting Viet Nam- I think I'll take this opportunity to send Dat notebooks, pens, and a smile. The old cliche is so crazy and true, the older one gets, the more she learns to appreciate her parents, both of them.

It's seems like an Ayn Rand type of night, Atlas Shrugged being the book, I'm only 150 pages in, it's captivating. And there's not much to do, I am becoming a better cook, from pancakes to steak to soups to spaghetti- the experience is coming in handy. My groceries a week only comes to about $20, my lunches out is what's costing me, coming to about $30, together though, the amount is quite efficient. It is lonely and insecurities creep in when there's not a lot of people here and not a lot of ways to entertain myself and share my experiences. I'm learning a lot, about journalism, about self-efficiency, but as always I'm realizing that the constant reminder of the old Asian adage couldn't be more true and wise, family and friends are everything.