Pureness... Purity

"It seems we living the American dream
The people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings" -Kanye West

A couple points but I think they're connected.

1) Pureness.
2) Abortion.

I guess it's considered pure when one can count on one hand the number of fellows with whom she's locked lips at age twenty-one. It's crazy, listening to the kids chat about high school these days, is it that different from two years ago or was I just unaware? Every year, it seems as though the girls get more sexualized and it becomes easier for a child to distinguish a girl from a... even though she's only a child... slut. It becomes easier to distinguish a boy from a... even though he's only a child... no life. And they're 14, 15, 16 years old. The weed smoking, sex having, drop-out culture of Deering High School seems to be rising.

Maybe it's the overly sexualized images they see on TV, the boys want to be Lil Wayne, the girls want to Lil Wayne's girl... and that is the city and public education system the kids are in. Which of course never ends up happening quite like that.

I see girls scrolling their babies down the street in Lewiston and I feel bad for them. Everyone I know would probably understand if they chose to abort, after all, there are millions of unwanted babies everywhere in the world, many who'll inevitably become like their mothers out of lack of love and attention. Which is true....

The world's overpopulated.... which is true. But what's also true is that there are millions of couples everywhere dying to nourish and love a child who'll never have the opportunity. I guess the world doesn't play fair when it puts a seed into a body which doesn't want it instead of a body which desires it, desires to pass on a gene of family tradition, desires to give a child a brother or sister, desires to give a child all their love.

I don't know, let a child live through the harsh possibility of not being wanted or to not give the child an opportunity to live at all? Maybe that's why a lot of us remain pure... not pure as in the Puritan days... college kids have fun as they should... have sex if they want.... because why not? It's liberating but just not with too many, because if one finds that one, who she may start a family with, it may be better not to have a string that's too long before him, because he/she is special, special enough to have a seed together, so it's not just that high school love. Even being Pro-Life, I think about it, the easy answer would be to ignore society's pressure, wear a condom.... know you'll still be loved even if you wait, but who am I to judge? We all know life doesn't quite pan out that way.

At any moment, though my thoughts about men changes, my thought about wanting a child has never waivered. Soft, always smiling little creatures of the world, or the two, three, four year-olds who always want hugs; if I had the money and motivation, it would be the blessing of all blessings to tell an unwanted child, maybe in a Foster home, maybe from a hospital, that he or she is wanted.

So back to the initial point, I wonder why then do so many girls... younger and younger, feel so unwanted at home, or feel unpopular enough or needy enough to seek the attention of young boys in the world by having sex. At 14, 15, 16... one is still a child who should have fun, experiment in relationships... but to feel the need for a male's validation... there's something sad about how the world is raising kids.

And at 14, 15, 16... the boys who feel the need to prove themselves as men, who are pushed to grow up much too fast, run with the right gangs, smoke the right shit, get with the right girl... their asshole behaviors only confirm their need and immaturity.

At 21, I can count on one hand the people I've locked lips with and because I had fun, I don't think of it as though I'm lacking. And I guess that's the element missing in this whole young relationship that can lead to horrible circumstances thing..... it's lacking the fun.