Malcolm X

"You don’t want a loan leave my cologne alone
It’s a little to strong for u to be putting on" -Lupe Fiasco

They were blasting the Lupe CD in the Echo office on Tuesday night and it was AMAZING.

Many lists and scattered thoughts... and Thursday night is the perfect night of release.

Thoughts galore....
1) What I wrote during the 'Woman' entry scared the shit out of me.

2) What am I going to do my Senior Thesis on? I'm going to have to start thinking about that.... and I want to start thinking about it. How do I leave my own legacy here... and study something out of the classroom which really grabs.
Perhaps something along the lines of how youth minority resistance in America has evolved from the 1920s until now. Maybe gang culture and masculinity of boys. Dissecting the American dream for the Vietnamese population and the black population.... how America treated Vietnam and Civil rights movement in the 60s and how it's affected these populations now. --- Gah, so vague and broad, but something along those lines. Yeah, something about resistance, difficult childhoods, boys, Vietnam, and African Americans.... something like that.

3) So today, in Dana dinning hall, they had a sophomore class dinner with an "Around the World" theme. They were hanging flags from various countries around the hall.... but they didn't have Vietnam. There's at least 8 Viet students here. Come on now. They also played a great amount of Ciara and Britney Spears music........ very international.
-On the other hand though, the sophomore class tees that we got there were kind of G :)

4) I want to make a facebook note consisting of all my poetry; I just might.

5) CCOR (campus conversation on race) ended today, that's sad. Maybe I'll be a facilitator next year.

6) So I have to write an Echo article in Kris Miranda's voice, attempting to be funny for the Echo's joke issue.... So much pressure.

7) The "Private Practice" season finale was WAY too dramatic. Therefore the season premiere now has way too much pressure to live up to.... and it'll suck if it disappoints.

8) Relay for Life is tomorrow (today), so I'm going to cut my hair-- hopefully boy short.... start again fresh and new. Except the idea of it being boy short is kind of terrifying.... someone else will take better care of it anyways, I'm horrible. Hopefully, I can pull it off as well as Brittany does but if not, it won't be the end of the world.

9) Oh my lord, 1 more week of classes, and one more week of finals before I'm going to be a junior. Where did two years go? I feel old sometimes..... remembering back to high school and childhood and all. Sometimes I sit back, and I realize that I'm no longer a kid, or a dependent, it's terrifying.

10) On that note, the hardest thing about college is never the classes, the late nights, the boys (lol). It's when I realize how close I am with my baby brother and knowing that I'm missing a lot of his adolescence. I was home much less this year than freshman year and that trend is inevitably continuing. (I want it to and it should.) It's a little shocking to know that I'm out of the house when I graduate and it's unnerving to understand that period of 12 years when I was really part of his life is probably never going to be replicated.... I'm his sister so I'm his friend, but I'm also more than 6 years older than he so I'm his guardian as well. In quiet times, I cherish them, I cherish him.

11) Malcolm X is absolutely amazing. I've always admired him but I've never known that much about him. Learning about him inspires- I want a Malcolm X poster in my room. This man was young, defiant, intelligent, articulate, and brave. Dr. King is relatively well known and admirable in everything that he did, but I think Malcolm gave young black people a voice... and encouraged a strength in them during a time of chaos and turmoil. They... as with many leaders at that time both died too young.... makes one wonder about the United States government.

12) I've decided that I'm going to pursue my education minor even if it kills me. (or take as many education classes as humanly possible here at Colby) Thus, the summer after IHP I might have to fulfill 1 or 2 final requirements at a local college so that I could free up my senior schedule for only Education and Anthropology classes, the senior seminars, and the my senior thesis. Kids, culture, writing..... it's a dream.

13) According to my actual birthday, which as I recall is sometime in April (or May).... I really don't know. I'm already 21, me, 21? I'll stick with June 16th.

14) So I don't believe in monogamy..........

15) Sometimes when I write things like I did on Sunday, I feel like I jinx myself, I apparently really like to jinx myself. Colby has amazing, talented, strong black men on this campus- though there aren't a lot of them (I'm counting 15-17?)- it seems like each one who is here has immense potential and is capable of or already are enacting in leadership. I marvel at them from time to time.

So lists....

Friday.
- My IHP interview is at 2pm today. (Either Vietnam and Tanzania is going to happen or it won't) It's terrifying. Either way, there's always the amazing University of Capetown in South Africa but I'm really hoping for IHP! I'm reading up on Tanzania and my home country(ies) of Viet Nam (and the United States)... I can't imagine. The issue of poverty in Washington DC is more than a little shocking. Then the issue of clean water..... clean water? really? half of the world doesn't have access to clean water? In America (or at least those in the middle and upper class) can take 45 minute hot showers. Crazy to think about... I hope I get to jump into this project.
- Relay for life and beautiful lengths.
- Party? Maybe.... hopefully..... the last of the year. And oh, there's a concert :)

Saturday
-As far as homework is concerned. I have a 10 minute presentation on Monday which I haven't started on. Boy!
-Two 2 page Japanese summaries due by exam period. (I should probably read the articles)
- A lab report (paper) and presentation for Thursday...... lovely.
-And Kris Miranda's Echo article which must be immaculate.

Sunday
-Have fun? Maybe.... probably not.
- By the end of the semester I have a 12 page Anthropology of Violence paper due. (I'm writing about the black panthers... such a fascinating, breathtaking period in American history... but I've got to start my reading)
-There's also a 5 page Chinese Anthropology paper to write up!
-A Mammalian Phys final, yikes!
- And of course a cumulative essay test for Abe Sensei's Japanese class. (wonder if I'm meeting Shafeek as well... hmm?)

After classes get done this week, maybe I'll go shopping for the first time since (gasp) February- and I have a meeting with 2 newspaper editors soon. We're praying (meaning everyone who reads this should pray as well), that I secure an internship by the end of the school year.... and figure out where I'm going to live very soon after.
- And yes, though I love this thing, I have to say bye to my faithful desktop that has been here with me for so long and move on to the greener pastures of the laptop.--- Oh summer.

-What I wrote on Sunday (and that realization).... still requires that deep breaths be taken. Long entry rants galore.